Every time, a friend climbs one more step on the ladder of "success", I feel I am drawn ten steps away from him/her. No no, it has got nothing to do with his behavioral changes. Rather, its more due to my reaction towards that success. I am not even sure if its my own insecurities manifesting themselves as jealousy. But I am scared that, most of the times, that is verily the case. And the people I am taking about here, are those, whom I consider to be an "extension" of my own self. Those, to whom, I feel "connected" at a finer level. Which, makes it all the more disturbing. This trend, I know, is so very wrong.
And why am I being so candid about it, here ? That's because I want them to know. I want them to know of my true feelings. Though it does little good in totally eliminating, it does help to some extent, in alleviating the guilt factor. And to add to the hopelessness, I am not even sure on how to reverse this disturbing trend. All I can say as of now, is that I am truly sorry.
To end the post on a slightly better note, I've been listening to this song by Pandit [Rajan and Sajan Mishra], the whole of today. And it is undoubtedly, one of the beautiful, beautiful, prayer compositions I've ever heard. So much, that I went to a durga temple after office :).
(Select "Raaga Durga" among the list of songs).
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3 comments:
Hmm..that's quite an honest post I must say! Not many ppl do this much soul searching I guess :)
Honest ? Well, yes...But you could say it also involved a bit of selfishness. 'Coz, the guilt factor was overbearing :(.
And, I hope the message would have reached the destination...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4
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