Five long years. Yes, for more than five years, I believed in something so strongly. And today, all of it came crashing down. Just like that. I am still trying to find myself, under the debris of my bruised soul, amongst other things. And then, theres none to blame too. Why does life have to make its lessons so hard ? As of now, all I see is darkness around me. A sense of falling into a bottomless pit.
My only lifeline is my faith in god. But no matter how hard I try, I don't seem to get a grip of the rope.I try to pray. Pray for a miracle. That somehow, I hold on to something before things go out of hand. I know, I have a long way to go in life and this is just one of those things. Sadly, there is a lot of difference between knowing something and experiencing it. Suddenly, the past is haunting and the future looks intimidating.And present, you ask, now whats that ?
I always thought I was strong enough to handle this, but then, whats life, if it doesn't give you a shock when you least expect it :).
If you can, please pray for me. Pray that I come back into light, into life, again.
9 comments:
kiTTi! whatever it is that is troubling you, I shall pray that you defeat it fully and see light soon. AMEN!
a quote from Swami Vivekananda: "All power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that!"
frm my speculation, its in one of these arenas: (most probable ones first)
professional
spiritual
romantic
i sincerely pray that its not the last( i dont want yet another of my friends to add heart-broken cry posts to his blog. he might hav no idea how saddening it becums to pals who read those! )
Josh:
Thanks kaNo. I think your prayers are working.I feel slightly better compared to y'day.
Vinu:
Thanks for reminding me where to get back my strength from.
i7:
All I can tell you is, unfortunately, most your life's worst fears come true :(
rephrasing what vinu (actually swami has said).. u have more in u than u think to get over it!!
Shekhar:
Yes yes, now I am beginning to realize that :)
Those moments from the past might haunt you
Present might seem so lonely and blue
Let your soul walk a few steps ahead from where you stand
Then turn back and take a glance
Would you still crib and cry
I'm sure... NO chance
Walk ahead Kris... take a glance.. You might realize it was not worth it at all
The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up...
But life is generous and it will find ways to fill the void, if not today definitely tomorrow...
Believe in Life and Move on...A beautiful future awaits you...
anon1:
Feel like my feet are firmly tied with chains, to the past.Walking those few steps ahead with this burden, is not all that easy.Am trying hard,nevertheless.
anon2:
Its been five days now, and the void seems as big as it was, then.And you say, 'tomorrow'. Are you kidding me :).
Wish, I could share your sense of optimism about the future.Thanks anyways for the wishes.Need them.
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