Ecdysis

How does it feel, to be able to actually see your own transformation?
Not just as an involuntary act, but something that you are aware of, as it happens?
When you are able to clearly "see" both the selves. Not yet distinct by themselves. Only a single blurred persona still, but sharp enough to notice the discontinuity.

Its a strange feeling to be actually aware of this. Overwhelming. And exciting at the same time.
My ecdysis has just begun.

ಬಿನ್ನಹ

ದೀಪವು ನಿನ್ನದೆ ಗಾಳಿಯು ನಿನ್ನದೆ,
ಆರದಿರಲಿ ಬೆಳಕು...

A conversation

i : "Hi there".
I : "Oh, Hi".
i : "How have you been?"
I : " I thought you should know better."
i : " I see that you've been suffering for long now".
I : "Hmm..."
i : "Why are you going through this suffering?"
I : "As I already told, I thought you should know these things better".
i : "But I want to hear it from the horse's mouth".
I : "Okay, lets introspect then. I think I've chosen this suffering for myself".
i : "And why would anybody do that?"
I : "What's life without suffering? If everything turned out the way I wanted it, where's the fun? Experiencing pain, gives me an opportunity to hope. To look forward for the morrow. To hope, that things would turn out to be better. It gives me an identity. A sense of purpose, to live on. What would I do without it? What would I pray for? How would I grow? The pleasure that pain gives you, I doubt, if you get it from pleasure itself. Knowing fully well that I could end this suffering the moment I decide to, I've chosen not to do so. Does that answer your question?"
i : "That was a weird answer. Anyways, if you've actually decided to suffer, why so, for the trivial things? Why not hanker after the greater things, that life may have to offer? Don't you think your growth would be a true one, in that case?"
I : "You are making me think now. Hmm.., lets put it like this. I've come to believe that every soul has its own pace at which it "learns". Its takes its own time to "evolve" into something higher. Any attempt to accelerate this pace, can at best, be described as futile. I would go on to say, that even this attempt and the failure thereof, is a part of the learning. So knowing fully well, that I'm on a pursuit of things that are only "toys" in a sense, I do so, with a hope that I shall crave for the "real", in due course. Until then, I am in no hurry. And just so you know, I've no interests in rationalizing my hypothesis. As I told you, I've only come to "believe" in this, with no tangible proofs to offer. You are free to hold on to your ideas."
i : "You are teaching me a few things, that I thought I already knew. I probably underestimated you".
I : "That's because you've created a division between us. You see, in essence, we are the same. Only that, you have already evolved to a higher level, where you don't need this suffering, this pain, for your existence. You are beyond that".
i : "You are probably right. I was only concerned that you were suffering for long now, and hence wanted to help you, that's all."
I : " Of immense help, you certainly have been to me. You made me think, become aware of my suffering. And the cause for it. I know I'll be able to handle it better now. Thank you".
i : "I hope to see you evolving, and becoming one of my kind, soon. Oops, I mean at the right time. "
I : "I know I shall. I am ready for the wait."

Monsoon of '69. Err.. '92 actually

Found this nostalgic picture of fifth standard while cleaning up the room today. (Yes yes, I sometimes do household chores too). Surprisingly, I could remember the names of almost 80% of them. Loyalty to friends you see ! That's Shubha M'am at the centre, our class teacher. In a tragic incident, she succumbed to a brain haemorrhage the next year. I still remember I was so shocked that day.

And here's a small contest for the reader(s). The first one to identify the author of this blog in the picture, and I shall give you a five star the next time we meet. Promise. And it should be a piece of cake-walk, in my opinion. I really haven't changed all that much, I say !
I mean, yeah, I've grown tall, put on some weight, wear glasses now, and all that. But I still retain the same innocence (and some of that ignorance too) :).
Go, guess.

[Indicate it as (Row, Column). Yes, starting with 0. And don't give me that look. Most of us program in "C", for heaven's sake.]

Who moved your comments ?

I type in the blog's url today, and what do I see ? All comments on all the posts just deleted. I cannot simply figure out what happened. Did someone hack into my blogger/google account? Did some virus infect the blogspot server, and eat away all the comments? Or its just a temporary hitch, affecting only this blog ?
I am just not able to point out, whatever happened to my blog.
Sad.

PS: As a 'security measure', I've enabled comment moderation.